Korean Etiquette and Customs: Dos and Don'ts for Travelers
Introduction
When you find yourself in a new country, being well-intentioned is not enough. It’s possible to act rude without meaning to. You’re still the same person you were at home, but suddenly the rules have changed. When I went to France some years ago, I didn’t know it was rude to call out to the waiter. It’s a perfectly fine behavior in Korea, so I ended up misbehaving without even realizing it.
This is understandable. It can happen, but we all want to avoid doing it as much as possible. Today I’ll walk you through some of the most crucial rules of Korean etiquette. Keeping in mind a few Korean manners would be a great way to show that you have respect and interest for Korean culture and people. Plus, it will make your trip so much more enjoyable as the locals would be even happier to receive you!
Bowing: The Art of Greeting
Bowing is an important part of Korean culture. It’s a way of showing your respect for the person. In the old days, the rules about bowing were extremely difficult. There used to be different kinds of bows, including ‘the big bow’ that’s also in the movie Elementals. But thankfully, like most other rules about etiquette, they have been much simplified.
There is informal bowing, which is just bowing your head lightly, and formal bowing, which is bending your upper body forward. Generally, the deeper you bow, the bigger the respect you are showing, but usually there’s no need to overdo it.
Then, when should you bow, and which bow should you do? Remember this simple rule: Rank and Age. Rank comes first. If you meet a person who ‘outranks’ you, you should bow. For instance, if it’s your superior or a senior, you should bow, even if the person’s younger than you. Normally informal bowing is enough, but if you’re meeting the person for the first time, or if the person’s much higher than you (your boss’s boss or something), you should bow formally and deeply.
Then comes age. Even in informal situations, you’d better bow to people older than you. If the person’s of similar age or younger to yourself, you don’t need to bow even if it’s the first time. So if you go to a party and meet your friend’s friends, there’s no need to bow. But to people considerably older than you, like the bus driver or the owner of a restaurant, it’s better to bow informally as you leave.
My advice is that you wait until your host tells you where to sit. That’s the safest thing to do!
Note that there’s another special rule about Korean manners you should know. When eating out, the youngest person is expected to ‘set the table’. It’s nothing serious, you just pour out water and put down spoons and chopsticks in front of everyone. It would be better to put a napkin and then put a spoon and chopsticks on it, it’s considered right in Korea. Oh, and don’t worry about using chopsticks! People will understand even if you’re not good with them. Unless they’re your future in-laws, of course. Some people of age think of good use of chopsticks as a sign of good upbringing, so it wouldn’t hurt to get some practice if you want to make a good impression.
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Gift-Giving: Exchanging Tokens of Appreciation
Gift-giving is an important part of Korean culture. It’s the way of building and maintaining relationships and showing how much you appreciate the receiver. Overall, the Korean etiquette of gift-giving isn’t that different from universal rules. For example, Koreans are educated to ‘never go empty-handed when visiting someone for the first time.’ If you get invited, you must bring a simple gift such as fruit or flowers.
At the same time, there are a few specific things you should remember. First, Koreans often send 기프티콘 (gifticon: mobile voucher) instead of giving gifts. This has become even more popular during the Pandemic era when people couldn’t meet to give gifts. Any Korean would receive 기프티콘 of cakes and presents on their birthday, so if you want to congratulate someone but can’t afford to meet them soon, send a 기프티콘 instead!
Next is about weddings. In Korea, we don’t give gifts to celebrate weddings. You can give a gift if you really want to, of course, but generally, we put some cash in a white envelope and give it. This is called 축의금 (chug-ui-geum). The bride and the groom will each have a family member who’s in charge of taking 축의금, so you can hand your envelope to them. And if you cannot attend the wedding in person, it’s okay to wire transfer money.
Politeness and Respect: Language and Behavior
Being polite always matters, but in Korea, manners have an even more considerable significance. You must show your respect with action, such as bowing your head and using two hands when taking or giving something to someone older or superior. And language is even more important. The Korean language has a structure based on levels of politeness. In Korean, talking to your friend sounds very different from talking to your boss. And it works by using different forms and conjugations.
Of course, there are other languages that have levels of politeness. Yet the Korean language has much more varied levels of politeness and a lot more conjugations. To speak Korean well is to know the right way to speak to the person (or people) you are talking to. In other words, it means to know which conjugations to use, not just for verbs but for adjectives too.
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Learn common Korean adjectives
It’s easy to miss the importance of adjectives, especially when you’re learning korean language before traveling to the country. After all, we go on trips to ‘do’, and doing is all about verbs. But don’t let that mislead you, for adjectives are essential for expressing yourself and understanding others. Here are some basic adjectives that might come in handy during your time in Korea.
아프다
a-peu-da
to be ill, to be sick배고프다
bae-go-peu-da
to be hungry
비싸다
bi-ssa-da
to be expensive
미안하다
mi-an-ha-da
to be sorry
뜨겁다
tteu-geop-da
to be hot
차갑다
cha-gap-da
to be cold
괜찮다
gwaen-chanh-da
to be fine
The proper use of Korean adjectives in sentences
So we’ve covered a few basic adjectives, but learning adjectives and memorizing their pronunciations and meanings isn’t enough. To use them in a sentence, you must also learn their conjugation. Let’s say you accidentally make a mistake about Korean etiquette and want to express that you are sorry. You cannot just say ‘미안하다,’ it would sound rude. To apologize politely, you must use the ‘formal declarative present’ form of ‘~합니다’ and say ‘미안합니다 (mi-an-hap-ni-da). See how different conjugations convey different meanings?
Let’s try another one. To tell your friend that you were ill yesterday but you’re feeling better today, you’ll need the ‘past casual’ form of the word 아프다 and the ‘present casual’ form of 괜찮다.
어제는 아팠는데 오늘은 괜찮아.
eo-je-neun a-pass-neun-de o-neul-eun gwaen-chanh-a.
I was ill yesterday, but I’m fine today.
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Now you know how important conjugations are. But then how should you practice them? There are more than a dozen different conjugations, which means each Korean verb and adjective has more than a dozen of forms. How can you actually make them your own and come up with the right form of the right word every time? The answer is Konju. With its vast and highly accurate database of Korean words and their conjugations, this edutainment app will let you learn and practice Korean conjugations with quizzes! You can even select the words to practice and personalize your word list, so whether you’re a beginner or at a more advanced level, Konju will let your Korean get better.
Temple and Shrine Etiquette
Korean temples and shrines are popular destinations for tourists. If you want, you can even spend a few days at a temple, experiencing the culture, cuisine, and philosophy of Korean Buddhism. This is called ‘temple stay’. However, there are certain rules you should keep at temples, and they are quite different from ordinary Korean manners.
The most important rule is that you cannot enter through the middle gate. Most temples and shrines have three gates, and the middle one is always for monks only. You should use the ones on the right and the left. Using the middle gate would be as rude as climbing to the altar while visiting a cathedral.
Secondly, you shouldn’t bring any liquor or meat to temples. They are forbidden according to Buddhist regulations. Thirdly, you should do a special kind of bowing when you meet monks. This is called 합장 (hap-jang) in Korean. It’s easy, you just put your palms together in front of your chest and bow your head lightly.
Conclusion
Leaving to travel or live in a different country can be exciting and scary at the same time, for it would be leaving your comfort zone and venturing into the unknown. You get to find out about a totally new way of life; new foods, new places, new thoughts, and new manners. You know you will have a great time, but you’re also aware that it won’t be perfect. While you cannot expect everything to go exactly the way you want, you can minimize the danger of encountering unexpected situations and unpleasant moments by preparing in advance.
Learning at least some Korean would make a huge difference, for it would give you the ability to find out what to do even if unanticipated things happen. If you can ask for help and explain what you need, you’ll be able to put your adventure back on track quickly, so download Konju now and start practicing how to speak!
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